Wednesday, 30 October 2013 12:05 pm 0 note(s)

it's 2:34am, and i still didn't have an intend to sleep. I wonder if i'm going to school tomorrow. I've been emotionally lifeless lately, i don't know what to think right now. Everything i do seems so wrong. Maybe i actually spend too much time in here. Not to mention on the rp too. Mom said people who spend too much time can possibly catch a depressed disease (which i bluntly translate this from malay to english, which is penyakit murung and i realise the meaning now tbh) and i obviously had caught the disease. I felt depress these day. Nevertheless, my life is normal. Family treat me well, I actually do the house work and then start again with playing these.

I really, like really wanted to go out and spend the day with a very refreshing air but i'm still in my phobia mood, which is i'm going to explain it later. Currently gain weight, ugh i ditch my to do list on this, and finish practising growl (yeay). I'm starting on bar, bar, bar but still struggling. Sun (which you guys obviously know her right?) ask me to record me dancing but i was like no, i'm still new to dancing and i look ugly while dancing, but don't worry my sunny sunshine! i'm going to do the recording after i've really, really know the full step. Now that I realise, i didn't reply to your cbox yet, and the ads keep bugging me, i'm sorry sunshine :(

Anyway, back to my lifeless life or should i say my daily day? since i mention life as lifeless means my life has been less but oh god that sound so wrong. I don't know what to do to make me full of enthusiasm since i've lost every confident. To think back, I rather learn something, like, i think i'm going to learn cooking (since i've putting on a weight and my kitchen is empty) and trying hard flailing my finger on the guitar string, which is i'm still learning. Happy birthday is what i'm going to play first, since i'm going to play this to someone special.

When I think back, i'm going to blame my freaking rp life for this. Since it's been a long time i quit rping but then i came back and i've never, like never think i'm going to be this stressful. I'm thinking of quitting it but since i'm the one who started it, i have to find a good way to end it. Geez, i don't know what to write and ugh this seriously affecting me (plus i didn't have my period yet, is this one of the effect? i don't know)

p.s, im so sleepy but i couldn't lull myself to sleep so, might seen a typo blah

Labels: doleful life, idk but i really wish i could go out and take a peek on the picturesque, sighs what to do